Unaverage Meg and Eddie: Average Chris Edition
by MrCamodian
Summary: Season 2 has flipped the script and this time focuses on Meg and Eddie but with Average Chris reworked into it for the first half Chapter 10 is up now. Note: I own no rights to songs except original ones.
1. New Beginnings From a Unaverage Life 1

**Chapter 1: New Beginnings From a Unaverage Life Part 1.**

It is a crisp autumn morning and there is a moving van outside the Griffin home.

Chris Griffin and another person come out loading boxes into the van.

"Hey, I'd like to thank you again for helping me move my stuff to our new apartment, Menthis." Says Chris, stepping back onto the curb.

"No problem man, after all it is the least I could do. You were kind enough to invite me to live with you," replies Menthis, wiping the sweat from his upper brow.

(Chris and Menthis walk back towards the house. Lois comes up and gives Chris a big hug.)

"What was that for mom?" asks Chris, blushing with embarrassment.

"I'm just sad to see my baby go, you are growing up so fast!" replies Lois, stepping back from her embrace of Chris with a smile and teary eyed.

"It'll be ok mom, it's not like I'm never going to visit, " says Chris.

"I know but with you leaving, Stewie off in Europe, and Meg having left ages ago the nest really is finally empty. And I-I-I just don't know what I'll do with myself now!" sobs Lois, and begins crying uncontrollably.

Peter walks up and moves her out of the way. "Lois, you can go do your emotional bitch crying somewhere else. My boy Chris is finally a man! And he doesn't need that nonsense!" exclaims Peter with pride.

"Well thanks dad, " replies Chris bashfully.

"Don't you think that was kind of harsh?" Chimes in Menthis; concerned for Lois.

"Thank you Menthis" says Lois sharply, a little angry by what Peter did.

"Oh don't worry about it, she'll be fine." responds Peter, brushing off Lois's comment.

"Hmph" mutters Lois, walking away in a huff.

"Well...I guess it's time for me to get going." says Chris.

Peter gives him a hug and says, "I'm gonna miss you Chris, make something of yourself and make me proud."

"I will dad, I will." With a tear in his eye, "Bye Mom."

(Lois looks at him and smiles weakly.)

"See ya Mr. and Mrs. G!" says Menthis, enthusiastically waving and getting in the van.

Music begins to play as they drive away.

I just became a member of a club known as the bumbling fools.

Botching the game and the best things in life is the motto and the rule.

So if you can open up your heart and hear me out just for tonight.

Baby I got something to prove to you  
I've gotta show you I can do it right.

Get out!

Don't want to see you again.

Maybe we can still be friends.

I know that I'm gonna go and screw it up in the end.

But that's okay cause I'm your average man!

The title appears saying.

 **Average Chris Redux: The OC Universe Edition.**

Chris and Menthis are driving by old Mr. Herbert's house when Chris stops the van and sighs looking at the house, "I really can't believe he's gone" says Chris, with a bit of sadness in his voice.

"I know man, I know" says Menthis, looking at the house also.

"Mind if we get out for a bit?" Chris asks.

"Sure, I really have no place else to be, " Menthis answers nonchalantly.

They both get out of the van and walk towards the house. The door opens suddenly, startling them, and a girl walks out.

"Chris? Wow, Chris is that you?" asks the girl in surprise.

"Wait...Sandy?!" Chris exclaims, surprised to see Sandy standing there.

"Huh? Who's Sandy?" asks Menthis, confused by who this girl is.

"Oh right, you guys have never actually met. This is Sandy, Mr. Herbert's grand niece. Sandy this is Menthis." says Chris, introducing the two.

"Hi." says Sandy waving slightly.

"I'm sorry about your uncle." Says Chris.

"No worries I'm sure he's in a better place." replies Sandy.

 **Cutaway.**

(Herbert is at the front desk at the lobby in heaven.)

"What do you mean I had to die holding a god damn towel?!" exclaims Herbert in frustration.

"I'm sorry but those are the rules." grumbles the manager, disgusted with Herbert's words.

Suddenly two little boys run by in swimsuits towards the pool.

"Jackpot!" says Herbert, then looks at the manager and says, "I'll deal with you later."

"We're going to have too keep an eye on him." whispers the manager to himself, watching Herbert walk away towards the pool.

 **End Cutaway.**

"Well I hope you guys can make it too the funeral on Saturday." says Sandy hopefully.

"Don't worry. We will." replies Chris, turning to walk away with Menthis.

"And Chris..." says Sandy after him.

"Yeah?" asks Chris, turning around.

"It was good seeing you again." Sandy says with a heartfelt smile.

"Same too you." replies Chris, smiling back at her getting in the van with Menthis and driving off down the road.

 **End Chapter 1.**


	2. New Beginnings From a Unaverage Life 2

**Chapter 2: New Beginnings From a Unaverage Life part 2.**

(Chris and Menthis pull up to an apartment building.)

"So this is our new place, home sweet home I guess." mumbles Chris looking unimpressed at the building.

"Not really what I expected…" replies Menthis, looking at the half faded away sign on the front.

"Not sure what luxury living accommodations you were expecting for 750 a month." Says Chris, rolling his eyes sarcastically. "Come on let's get our stuff inside."

"Fine…" Menthis sighs, walking towards the moving van to open it up and get their belongings out.

(Menthis and Chris make it upstairs.)

"This is it Menthis. Apartment number 8B." Says Chris tiredly getting out the keys and unlocking the door.

"Woah." Says Chris in amazement.

"Yeah wow look at this crap shack." Says Menthis.

"It's not that bad." Says Chris moving in boxes.

"Yeah section 8 living at its finest." Replies Menthis sarcastically.

"Ok get moving and help me unpack, smartass." Says Chris, annoyed at Menthis's complaining.

Menthis walks into the bedroom and screams: "Chris!"

"What! Are you okay?!" shouts Chris, running in.

"We have a Murphy bed!" Exclaims Menthis, climbing up onto the bed.

"Jesus Christ I thought you were hurt, get down before you actually do hurt yourself." says Chris, facepalming himself.

"No way this is awesome." responds Menthis happily and begins jumping on the bed, "Jumpin on the bed, jumpin on the bed! Belly flop!"

(Suddenly the bed gives out pulling itself back up into the wall trapping Menthis in it.)

"Chris! Chris! Help get me out of here!" cries Menthis in a panic.

"I seriously told you to not jump on the bed." replies Chris smuggly yet still annoyed by Menthis's actions.

(Knock, knock, knock.)

"Someone's at the door I'll be right back." Chuckles Chris turning to walk away.

"Chris! Chris don't you dare leave me in here!" shouts Menthis angrily, "Chris? Chris come back here you dick!"

"I'm sure he'll find his way out." Chris laughs to himself, grinning.

(Chris opens the door and sees Cleveland Junior.)

"Hey Junior." Chris says happily.

"Hi." responds Junior, then asks, "You guys almost ready to go to the funeral?"

"Yeah, we're just finishing unpacking and Menthis is currently unpacking himself from the wall." responds Chris, snickering.

"What does that mean?" asks Junior in confusion.

"It means he's an asshole." replies Menthis, walking out from the bedroom wiping himself off still angry about what happened.

Later in the car.

"Why are we going down this sketchy ass street Chris?" questions Menthis looking around nervously.

"We have to pick up Rallo really quick." responds Chris.

"What is he friends with the meth man?" asks Menthis sarcastically.

"That wasn't very nice...Menthis." says Junior angrily.

"Too bad he's not really the nicest person too me." replies Menthis.

 **Flashback.**

(It shows Rallo in with his friends at the park.)

"I'll see you guys in a bit I gotta hit the john." says Rallo, walking towards the bathroom.

"Hmmm? What is this?" ponders Rallo, seeing writing on the wall. He takes out a marker and says to himself, "This should be good." and writes "for a good time call 202-555-0181."

Sometime later Menthis is in bed, the phone rings and he picks it up.

"Hello?" asks a tired Menthis.

"Hi this is Reggie...I'm looking for a good time." replies the caller.

"How sad and lonely are you people!? Stop calling me it's 3am!" shouts Menthis and hangs up.

(Ring, ring, ring!)

"Hello?" asks an annoyed Menthis.

"Hi lover this is Patricia I'm looking for a good time!" says a woman in a sultry voice.

"God dammit!" screams Menthis.

 **Flashback ends.**

"Hey, it still got you a date." snickers Chris.

"That's beside the point…" says Menthis, getting annoyed.

(They arrive at an old run down house with a faded white picket fence.)

"As I said; drug dealer…" mutters Menthis, rolling his eyes.

"Okay Jamal I'll check you later dude, haha." laughs Rallo, stumbling out of the house.

"And surprise surprise he's already off his ass, we're taking a trashed person to a funeral...lovely." says Menthis with sarcasm, clapping his hands slowly.

"Listen, the only one being an ass so far is you! Now stop it!" shouts Junior, giving Menthis dagger looks.

Rallo opens up the door and says, "Sup Chubs and his gang of chumps." Seeing Menthis he says, "Cup check!" Hitting Menthis hard enough he doubles over in pain.

"Owww! Why?" cries Menthis.

"Hey Menthis." says Junior.

"Yes?" cries a still hurt Menthis.

"I take back what I said." replies Junior.

"Thank you!" says Menthis graciously.

"You are both asses" says Junior.

"Awwww." sighs Menthis sadly.

"Wait what?" asks Rallo confused at what he means.

"Rallo I hope that's not what you plan on wearing too the funeral." says Junior, looking at him.

"Oh right...the funeral, I totally forgot." laughs Rallo.

"I thought you would, so I brought you these." says Junior pulling out a set of clothes from a bag under the seat and handing them to Rallo.

"You the man chubs." says Rallo happily.

"I know now get changed." replies Junior.

"Really in here? No one wants to see him in his underwear." complains Menthis finally sitting back up in disgust.

"My response to that is, cup check!" responds Rallo, hitting Menthis again.

"Why?!" cries Menthis again in pain.

(They arrive shortly to the funeral home and all go in.)

At the front door a man is passing out carnations to children.

"Can I have one?" asks Menthis excitedly.

"Sorry but no Mr. Herbert's last request was that only the children get flowers." replies the man.

"Huh? Weird but ok then…" says Menthis walking away.

"Hey Chris! Over here!" calls Sandy, waving from over by the open casket.

"Hey Sandy." says Chris, walking over and giving her a hug.

"I'm glad you could make it." says Sandy, smiling after the hug.

"I wouldn't have missed it, Mr Herbert was a good man. A bit off at times but a good person none the less." replies Chris with a smile.

"Will everyone please be seated." says the funeral director.

(Everyone takes their seats and the funeral begins.)

Later, after the heartfelt speech, the funeral director asks, "Would anyone else like too say something about Herbert?"

"Yes, Chris and I have a song that I've prepared." says Menthis standing up.

"No this is no time to be a song whore." says Chris, glaring at Menthis.

"Come on buddy all you have to do is play the piano like your mom taught you. I'll sing." says Menthis, leading Chris up to the front of the stage.

"Ugh fine…" says Chris sitting down at the piano.

Menthis picks up the mic and begins to sing.

The day is done.

You're lain to rest.

(Menthis begins to walk down the aisle.)

Even though our hearts are wounded.

The pains a test.

We all may cry today.

But remember you tomorrow.

(Chris smiles at Sandy and she smiles back at him.)

We can't hold back the tears.

But we won't be swallowed up by our sorrows.

(Menthis grabs Sandy's hand and walks her up to the stage where she starts singing also.)

You're in a better place.

Within the arms of god.

Two plains of existence.

One which is real or not.

The universe has called you home.

You will not be forgotten.

(Sandy sits next to Chris at the piano and gives him a encouraging look for him to sing also.)

Cause when the day is done.

And you are lain to rest.

Even though our hearts are wounded.

The pains a test.

(Everyone in the funeral home begins singing.)

We all may cry today.

And remember you tomorrow.

It's written in the cards of fate.

But we won't be swallowed up by our sorrows.

(Menthis walks to the podium and finishes up the song by himself.)

So when our time has come.

There is no need to doubt.

You're in a better place.

Within the warmth of god's embrace.

At the end Sandy walks up and says, "Thank you guys for this." hugging Chris and Menthis.

"No problem the song was Chris's idea, wasn't it Chris?" replies Menthis nudging Chris and winking.

"What? Oh right right." says Chris stunned.

"I'm going to leave you two to it." says Menthis, walking away.

"That was really nice what your friend did for you." says Sandy with a knowing smile.

"Yeah I guess it was."replies Chris with a smile.

"I hope we can see each other again sometime Chris, but on better circumstances." says Sandy, giving Chris a piece of paper with her number on it, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and walking away.

"So do I Sandy, so do I." Says Chris smiling


	3. An Unaverage Drifter's Tale

**Average** **Chris** **Ch3: An Unaverage Drifter's Tale.**

It's a Early Tuesday morning and Menthis is by himself cleaning with the radio on singing along.

I was left to my own devices  
Many days fell away with nothing to show

Menthis grabs the feather duster dancing around cleaning.

And the walls kept tumbling down  
In the city that we love  
Grey clouds roll over the hills  
Bringing darkness from above

He grabs the broom awkwardly grinding on it still singing.

But if you close your eyes  
Does it almost feel like  
Nothing changed at all?  
And if you close your eyes  
Does it almost feel like  
You've been here before?

Suddenly a voice shouts, "I'll pay you a dollar to stop!"

Startled Menthis looks around and sees a man staring up at him from the street below the balcony.

Later Menthis comes out from the building and walks behind it seeing the man from earlier rooting through the dumpsters in the back and walks up to talk too him.

"Hey sorry about earlier." Says Menthis.

"Oh hey yeah no problem man, what you do in your domain is your will but curtains might be a good investment... cause you sure like to dance and sing like no one's watching, but trust they are haha." Replies the man.

"Yeah…" Says Menthis still embarrassed, "So um... yeah what are you doing out here?" Asks Menthis then says, "Oh my name's Menthis I don't think I got yours.

"That's cause I never gave it; but if you must know the names Daedalus but most people call me Dae and I'm dumpster diving for loose dinero if you catch my drift." Replies Dae.

"Oh if you need money I don't mind helping in anyway I can, especially after the incident earlier…"Says Menthis.

"Hmm I don't think you have the money I need but I think there's a way you can still help." Replies Daedalus.

"What does that mean?" Asks Menthis.

"The thing I currently need money for is in the possession of the man, man and that thing was my current place of residency if you catch my drift." Replies Daedalus

"Oh…"Says Menthis questioning his offer now.

"Oh yeah, but from how much fun I see you having everyday it's gotta be better than the underpass by Kroger's." Says Daedalus laughing and walking towards the end of the alley way towards the apartments.

"Oh god Chris is going to kill me…" Sighs Menthis watching Daedalus walk off.

As Menthis and Daedalus walk into the apartment Chris sees them and says, "Oh hell no Menthis I told you no more homeless people!"

"Hey!" Says Menthis.

"He's not wrong about the homeless part, but my new friend here said I could stay." Says Daedalus with a grin.

"Well not exactly but.."Starts Menthis.

"Ugh you let another homeless person blackmail you into living here again didn't you?" Asks Chris interrupting him.

"..No…." Says Menthis silently.

"Yeah well, this is getting heavy I'mma go see what's in the fridge." Says Daedalus walking off.

"Menthis you have to ask him to leave!" Demands Chris.

"I can't he saw me bump, sing and, grind too Pompeii." Replies Menthis.

"Who hasn't?!" Shouts Chris angrily.

"He's right you know!" Shouts Daedalus from the kitchen.

"Stay out of this!" Shout both Menthis and Chris at Daedalus.

"Can do." Says Daedalus turkey sandwich in hand walking towards and sitting on the couch.

"Is that my sandwich for work?" Asks Chris.

"Um...uh...we don't want to seem like rude host's?" Laughs Menthis nervously.

Chris looks at Menthis angrily takes a deep breath and says, "You know what? I'm going to let you handle this he's welcome to stay as long as he wants you have my blessing."

"Wait what?" Asks Menthis in confusion.

"Hell yeah!" Declares Daedalus happily.

"Oh boy...yay…" Says Menthis sarcastically.

"I'm sure he'll crack way before the end of the week." Chris laughs to himself.

Day 1 Chris walks into the bathroom seeing it is a mess and his toothbrush has been used he rolls his eyes and shuts the door.

Day 2 Chris walks into the house too find it a mess and goes too get something to eat and sees a barren fridge and goes to go to bed finding Daedalus in his bed he walks to sleep on the couch.

Day 3 Chris is sitting down eating a almost empty bowl of cereal without milk and Menthis storms in angry.

"He has to go he snores to loud!" Says Menthis.

"That's what it took... that's what you're upset about?" Chris says rolling his eyes.

"Yeah." Says Menthis opening the fridge, "Guy's obnoxious... where the hell is the milk?" Asks Menthis.

"In your damn friend in there!" Says Chris pointing at the bedroom,"He needs to leave Menthis not tomorrow not Sunday now!"

"I've been saying that to you for the past few days!" Says Menthis.

"When was this?! You know what it doesn't matter how do you propose we do this?" Asks Chris.

"Well he said something about his home being impounded why not help him pay to get it out?" Suggests Menthis.

"Great idea, so when we live with him in his car would you prefer to sleep in the front or the back?" Asks Chris sarcastically.

"I'd honestly prefer the- wait why would we live with him?" Asks Menthis.

"Oh I don't know maybe because we gave our rent money to a homeless man!" Shouts Chris.

"You two are starting to harsh my mellow bros so why not just help me steal it back?" Says Daedalus walking into the kitchen.

"Great you let a blackmailer and thief live with us." Says Chris Angrily.

"If it makes you feel any better I was just going to rob you when I got bored and just leave." Says Daedalus with a shrug.

"How exactly would that make us feel better?" Asks Chris QuestionIng their new guest's intent.

"Well you have to admire his honesty." Says Menthis.

"About his readiness to rob our house?!" Asks Chris in concern.

"Drifter's code bra use until you can lose." Says Daedalus.

"I feel like we're going to need black people." Says Menthis walking off to Junior's apartment.

Menthis walks up to the door to knock.

Rallo answers and says, "You had me at steal but lost my respect at Black people, come on man we're not all like that."

"How the hell could you hear us?" Asks Menthis.

"Hah a Friday afternoon at 4 pm with 3 sober white people screaming, right like no one can hear that." Replies Rallo smuggly.

"Fair enough." Sighs Menthis.

Rallo and Junior walk in Junior's apartment.

"Junior we need your help." Says Rallo.

"So where are we going to steal from?" Asks Junior.

"My guess is Ron's Quahog Impound on South Street." Says Rallo.

"How the hell do you know what we needed to steal and where?!" Demands Menthis.

"Because apparently you still don't know how to use your inside voice, and let's just say I know Ron personally." Responds Rallo.

"Alright we'll go get ready and meet you there." Says Rallo walking Menthis out and shutting the door.

Later that night by Ron's Impound.

"Okay is everyone ready?" Asks Chris as Junior and Rallo pull up and get out.

"Um why do you look like a giant fudge round who lost his stripes and is trying to steal them back?" Asks Menthis seeing Junior.

"That's weird Cleveland said the same thing…" Remarks Rallo, "Okay so Junior and Menthis I'm going to need you too jump the fence and distract the dogs."

"I knew this was bad day to keep leftover ham in my pockets." Sighs Junior walking off with Menthis.

"Okay how are we going to steal the car?" Asks Daedalus.

"We're not." Replies Rallo.

"Wait what?" Asks Chris in confusion.

"Oh Ron owes me a favor, I just wanted to get Menthis back for the black people comment and to teach Junior too stop keeping ham in his pockets it's disgusting come on let's go talk too Ron." Replies Rallo walking towards the building.

"Well hey Rallo." Says Ron smiling at him.

"I'm going to need a favor." Says Rallo walking up.

As everyone is walking towards their cars you see Menthis and Junior still running from the the dogs.

I...I am never keeping ham in my pockets ever again…" Wheezes a out of breath Junior passing out.

"See... I did help…" Says Menthis walking towards them behind Junior out of breath as well and passing out on top of Junior.

"You sure did bud you sure did." Says Chris picking up and dragging a passed out Menthis back to the car.

"Thanks Rallo if you ever need anything just ask." Says Daedalus walking to his van.

"I always do." Laugh's Rallo, "Come on Chubs let's go home.

"Okay just let- let me catch my...breath." Says Junior laying on the ground wheezing; when a dog comes up and grabs him by the pants dragging him off making him cry out, "Help they found the Boneless Chicken in my back pocket!"

"Those dogs really like your brother and his food." Says Ron walking up.

"He tends to keep leftovers in his clothes so yep.." Replies Rallo watching the dogs trying to wrestle the food out of Junior's pockets.


	4. Average Jobs, Unaverage Nights

**AC 4 Average jobs, Unaverage nights.**

Chris is walking up to the top of the roof and sees Menthis, "Good morning man what are you doing up so early?" He asks.

"Nothing...hucking breakfast burrito at pigeons." Says Menthis.

"Wait why would you be feeding a breakfast burrito too another... know what you do you, I have to go too work cya man don't forget your first day as security for the brewery don't be late. Says Chris walking off.

"Will do." Says Menthis when some pigeons come up and points at him and the other makes a neck slicing gesture attacking him off the building and into the dumpster.

Later that morning Chris gets too work and goes into the building, "Hey dad." Says Chris seeing his father and asks, "How's it going?"

"Well Chris it's been tiring." Sighs Peter, "I just saved the orphanage across the street from a bunch of deformed gremlins using only my mace."

"You mean the orphanage for children with deformities?" Asks Chris.

"...And I just maced a bunch of deformed children?..." Sighs Peter, "Well if anyone needs me I will be hiding from the police in the Janitors closet….again.. " He says grabbing his lunch walking towards the back room.

"Hey Chris is Menthis ready for his first day in security? Asks Junior walking up.

"Do you really care or was your follow up question asking for my breakfast muffin?" Asks Chris with a laugh.

"Yeah so about that muffin…." Says Junior.

"Here." Says Chris tossing him the muffin, "And I'm sure he'll be fine.

(Suddenly Menthis stumbles in looking like a disheveled mess.)

"Wow you look rough." Says Junior eyeing him up and down biting into the muffin.

"And why are you covered in bruises and bird dook?" Asks Chris.

"I don't wanna talk about it…" Says Menthis stumbling towards his security desk, "Why exactly did you need me to work here again?" He asks resting his head on the table.

"Because I'm tired of you sitting at home doing nothing all day." Says Chris.

"Well for your information I just so happen to run a emotional support group for people who identify as ducks, transquacks to be precise." Says Menthis lifting his head up looking at Chris.

"Why? Who would honestly need that?" Asks Chris.

"Listen me and Javier Von Quackington were about to make a very important doctor duck break through." Replies Menthis.

"You're a weird dude I hope you know this…" Sighs Chris.

"Hmph says you." Replies Menthis leaning back in the chair at the desk.

"Well you should get ready for your shift, your stuffs in the Janitors closet, I have paperwork to do in my office if you need anything come get me." he says walking off.

(Later Menthis is opening the closet seeing peter crying into a half eaten tub of ice cream.)

"Uh...I'm gonna need your mace and badge" Menthis reaching out his hand.

"O-okay I'm soooo sorry; I didn't mean to mace the orphans honest." Cries Peter handing him his mace and badge.

"I...I don't know how to respond to that...bu-but thank you for your service Mister G." Replies Menthis awkwardly taking them from Peter's hands and into his.

"Oh my God!" Sobs Peter slamming the door to the Janitors closet behind Menthis.

"Why is your dad in the Janitors closet crying into ice cream?" Asks Menthis walking up.

"It's a different reason everyday for him." Sighs Chris looking up from his desk, "Don't forget you work a double today."

"Wow you're faith in me on my first day must be high especially on my first day." Says Menthis with a slightly sarcastic smirk.

"Honestly it is because I know you can do it." Says Chris with a smile.

(Later that afternoon.)

"You ready for your first night shift?" Asks Chris.

"No not really...kinda want to go home...but thanks for asking…" Sighs Menthis tiredly.

"That's the spirit." Replies Says Chris enthusiastically.

"I don't think you understand what sarcasm is.." Sighs Menthis walking to his desk and sitting at his desk watching Chris walk off.

As Chris is walking off he says, "I know you can do this, I have faith in you!"

"Yep gotcha." Menthis sighs spinning around in his chair, "What to do, what to do, what to do?"

(Suddenly a pair of eyes open and something dashes towards Menthis.)

Peter slowly gets up still woozy from his sugar crash crawling out of the janitors closet, "Oh...oh god I need water." He says heading towards the bathrooms walking in and rinsing off his face and a shadow scurries past him, "Menthis is that you bud?" He asks nervously walking towards the exit.

(Peter takes two steps from the doorway and something grabs him.)

(Sometime later Chris is just getting home and he walks inside his phone rings and it's his mother.)

"Chris did your father go home with you?" She asks.

"No he's not home by now?" Asks Chris his voice growing in concern.

"No I haven't seen him since he left for work this morning and he isn't picking up his cellphone I'm getting worried." Lois responds.

"Know what I'll try calling Menthis, okay mom I'll call you right back if not try to get some sleep." Says Chris hanging up and dialing Menthis but he doesn't pick up so he calls Junior.

"Hello?" Answers Junior.

"Hey junior it's me Chris, have you heard from Menthis or my dad?" He asks.

"No." Responds Junior.

"Well we need to go back to the brewery and check on them." Says Chris.

"Do we have to? It's just Menthis and your dad goes missing every other weekend so does this need to be a problem especially a 2am problem?" Asks Junior with sarcasm flowing through his voice.

"Yes" says Chris hanging up before he can answer.

"Well apparently it's too late for his bitch ass to grasp my sarcasm but I guess I'm fired if his dad's dead." Sighs Junior grabbing his keys heading towards his car.

(Slowly Peter comes to.)

"Where the hell am I?" Asks Peter looking around trying to get a grasp of his surroundings noticing a unconscious Menthis laying by him.

"He's awake bring him." Says a voice.

(Before Peter can react something is put on his head and he's taken off to somewhere else.)

"Menthis! Dad! Are you guys okay?!" Shouts Chris walking into the building looking for them.

 ***Crash!***

"Dad?...Men..you guys better not be playing a joke on me." Says Chris with fear starting to show in his voice looking around even under the tables.

(Red eyes are visibly shown watching Chris as he checks the security desk and when he has his back towards them and then something rushes at him.)

(In the other room from earlier Menthis shown is slowly coming to.)

"You're awake drink this you'll need your strength for what's to come." Says a voice putting a flask to Menthis's lips.

(Menthis gets a big earthy taste going straight through his lips and his first thought is to spit it out but the man holds his nose forcing him to drink till he's finished the flask.)

"What? (Cough.) Off Brand Duff piss do you have me drinking buddy? (Cough Spit Cough!)" Wheezes Menthis still tasting the horrible taste on his lips.

"The Holy Grail of originals Pawtucket Patriot Ale my good sir." Says the voice.

"Explains a lot.." Says Menthis spitting and getting up wiping his mouth on his sleeve, "My second question is where the hell in God's good earth am I?"

"Alas we are in the depths of the Pawtucket Pat Dungeons and I am your guard." Says the Orange Figure looking out the window.

Peter slowly wakes up his face half caked in a crust of rainbow colored vomit, "Damnit!" He says slowly getting up aggravated by his situation and almost tripping in the unbearable smelling gunk, "Well I guess this wouldn't be my first time going home smelling like the inside of a burning dumpster couch at a music festival...but that's a story for another time, now where am I?" He says brushing himself off adjusting his glasses and looking around and walking not really knowing where he's going, "Wow this place is pretty big, seems pretty familiar also." Peter says to himself trying to remember his hardest why the place seems so familiar to him when he hears a door open and he hides himself behind a pillar.

"Where do we need to keep the fat blonde one?" Asks a voice.

(Peter slowly peers around the corner of the pillar noticing two Orange figures who have a unconscious Chris laying by them.)

"Oh no they have Chris!" Says Peter to himself a bit too loudly ducking back behind pillar.

"What was that?" Asks the bigger figure.

"Probably nothing you head back to the secret entrance and make sure nothing else happens, before blonde one got off his phone I thought I heard him talking to someone, he sounded fat I'm unsure if that helps" Says the smaller watching the bigger walk off.

"Hah! Damnit!" Peter says accidentally laughing at the fat remark about Junior too loudly exposing himself.

"Alright I heard you there's no more hiding!" Says The Figure looking for Peter.

Peter takes a deep breath, "I hope this works" picking up a half broken beer bottle and throwing it against the wall.

(The Figure walks towards the sound of the noise and Peter runs up and grabs Chris dragging him through the door and another.)

"Come on Chris you gotta get up I can't do this without you." Says Peter setting Chris down trying to wake him up but nothing is working and he hears someone heading towards them, "Uh..uh...oh lois if you're going to wear that tube top Chris bought you, you could at least wear a bra." He says.

Chris slowly wakes up, "Mom's not wearing what? And where are we?" He says still laying in a daze.

"I don't know bud, also if we survive this me and you need to have a long discussion with me on your relationship with your mother because I haven't heard someone say that name no bra and someone get up that fast in years and going to you might be cheaper than therapy." Peter Replies.

"What?" Asks Chris in shock and confusion at awkward accumulation of the situation.

"Nothing just know things aren't going so well and your mom likes it weird now and you might one day...know what nevermind quiet." Peter says shushing Chris and pushing him against the wall hiding.

(Later Junior is pulling up in his car seeing Chris's left in the brewery parking lot and he gets out walks towards it and the big figure comes out and ambushes him.)

"Please don't hurt me it's almost 4am and I don't care about any of this and I'm just here to see if my idiot friends died please dear god don't hit me in face it doesn't absorb punches it's just fat." Junior says holding his hands up to shield his pudgy face.

"Know what you're honest kid why don't you just go home." Says the big Orange Figure.

"For real?" Asks Junior in shock.

"Yeah." The Orange Figure.

"I think I need a few extra days to recover is that okay?" Asks Junior.

"Wha-huh-that's a weird question why are you asking me?" Asks the Figure thrown by the question.

"Because I hate my job and I hate my friends who call me for after midnight favors!" Exclaims Junior in exhausted frustration.

"Know what buddy we all have been there just take the rest of the week off." Says the Figure walking Junior to his car.

"Bless you sir, bless you." Says Junior shaking the guys hand getting in his car and driving off.

(Back in the room with Menthis.)

"So let me get this straight you guys are the remaining members of the left over Choomba Woombas from before Pawtucket sold the factory?" Asks Menthis pacing back and forth in the room.

"Tis be true and yet unfortunate." Sighs the Choomba Woomba still looking out the window.

"Why not leave?" Says Menthis noticing him looking out.

"Leave?" Asks the Choomba Woomba looking back at Menthis.

"Yeah? Don't you want to see what's outside that window?" Asks Menthis with a warm smile.

"Yes...at times I've thought about it...but what if I don't like what's outside?" Sighs the Choomba Woomba looking back out his window.

"That's what makes what seeing what's outside your window worth it; it's the experiences in life that make it worth it fear should never hold any value over that." Says Menthis, "Sometimes you have to take a chance and sing your heart song."

"I don't quite understand?" Asks the Choomba Woomba curiously.

"Listen I'm probably not the best person to say this but usually if I'm stuck or having problems I like to sing it helps my mind get going." Says Menthis scratching his bead.

"You think so?" Asks the Choomba Woomba.

"It never hurts to try." Replies Menthis with a smile.

"Okay." Says the Choomba Woomba and begins to sing.

No New Year's Day to celebrate

(It shows Peter fighting the Choomba Woombas.)

No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away

(The Choomba Woomba jumps on Chris's back trying to choke him and he backs up slamming him into the wall.)

No first of spring

(Peter punches two Choomba Woombas and knocks two other's heads together.)

No song to sing

"Come on dad!" Shouts Chris to Peter climbing the ladder.

In fact here's just another ordinary day

"On my way!" Replies Peter body slamming a Choomba Woomba and running towards the ladder.

No April rain

(Peter kicks a Choomba Woomba trying to grab his leg in the face and Chris pulls him up.)

No flowers bloom

(Chris does a jump kick at the Choomba Woomba running at them.)

No wedding Saturday within the month of June

(Chris and Peter start running towards the door to the next room.)

But what it is, is something true

(Suddenly three Choomba Woombas come out of the door and one of them is massive.)

Made up of these three words that I must say to you

The two smaller Choomba Woombas run at them and Peter roundhouse kicks them and then says, "Road House."

(Menthis begins singing with the Choomba Woomba Guard and their silhouettes appear in the background singing during the fight.)

I just called to say I love you

(The massive Choomba Woomba runs at Peter punching him.)

I just called to say how much I care

"Is that all you got?" Asks Peter wiping the blood from his upper lip.

I just called to say I love you

"Aaaah! Screams both Peter and the Choomba Woomba running at each other.

And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

(Peter jumps on the Choomba Woomba tackling both of them off the railing.)

"Dad no!" Shouts Chris watching them fall down turning towards the door and kicking the door open he goes in, "You gotta be kidding me…"

Later that morning.

(Chris and Menthis are in Chris's car Chris glaring at him Menthis sitting there grinning as they drive home.)

"I was wrong where I put my faith…you're fired." Says Chris angrily.

"You were and thank you." Says Menthis with a cheeky grin.


	5. An Average Bet

**AC Ch5: An Average Bet.**

(It's a brisk Saturday morning and Chris and Menthis are at the local flea market carrying boxes to an empty booth.)

"Why are we doing this again?" Asks Menthis as they walk.

"Because you've become a hoarder and I'm sick of all the clutter." Replies Chris walking up to the booth and setting the boxes down on the table.

"I don't see why I have to be involved if you're the one wanting to get rid of stuff." Whines Menthis.

"Look obviously you have no intention on helping so why don't you go somewhere else but try to stay out of trouble." Says Chris frustrated Menthis won't help.

"Can do." Salutes Menthis walking off.

"So you're here." Says a voice.

(Chris turns around and notices the familiar face of Sarah Stone standing at the next booth over with a smug look on her face.)

"Oh god...Hi Sarah…." Sighs Chris in annoyance rubbing his temples.

"Aww someone not happy to see me?" Laughs Sarah.

"Ugh I don't have time for this right now" Sighs Chris turning around unpacking the rest of his boxes

"You'll never beat me in selling your stuff and making the most money." Laughs Sarah.

"It's not really a competition so...yeah." Replies Chris still unpacking.

"What afraid you'll embarrass yourself in front of Amy?" Says Sarah with a wicked smile.

"Amy?" Gasps Chris looking up from his boxes.

"Now I have your attention, yep Amy Walker." Says Sarah still smiling.

"She's here?" Asks Chris turning around.

"Mhmm, she is." Replies Sarah.

"Amy." Says Chris under his breath with a smile.

"You done daydreaming lover boy?" Asks Sarah with a smile snapping him back to reality, "Let's make a little wager." She says after.

"I'm listening." Replies Chris with interest crossing his arms.

"If you can make more money by closing time I'll convince Amy too go on a date with you." Says Sarah.

"And if I lose?" Asks Chris.

"Oh nothing much just...I get all the money you did make." Says Sarah her eyes gleaming with confidence in her ability to win.

"Hey Sarah where do you want these boxes?" Says a figure stumbling towards Sarah's booth but she trips and falls throwing boxes everywhere, "Oh hey Chris." She says looking at him.

"Oh hi Amy." Replies Chris bashfully awkwardly staring too long.

"So do we have we have a deal?" Asks Sarah smiling.

"Yeah..yeah." Says Chris just shaking his head.

"Deal about what?" Asks a confused Amy.

"Oh nothing Amy, go set the stuff you picked up on the table over there." Says Sarah pointing at the table, then turning back around and shaking Chris's hand.

(Suddenly a balding old man in a blue jacket and blue bus driver's hat walks up.)

"Um excuse me sir, I'm looking for a toy for my grandson." Says the Old Man.

"Oh I should have a box of old toys." Says Chris going to the back counter grabbing a box, and walking back up and setting it on the table.

"Oh these look lovely." Says the old man going through the box, "Wow you even have one of these." Says the old man picking up an inflatable hammer.

"Yeah I have a lot of good memories with that, but I wouldn't mind parting with it for...um three dollars if that's fair. Says Chris.

"I don't know...my grandson has the same condition as me, the slightest bump knocks us both out." Replies the old man in uncertainty.

"Oh…" says Chris and goes to take the hammer back.

"Wait sir I noticed the side reads safe for children three and up, why would the directions and the seller lie to you? I can vouch that he's an honest man why not try it out and see for yourself?" Sarah chimes in.

"Well I didn't say all that." Says Chris shocked by Sarah's help.

"Know what I will try it." Says the old man and taps himself on the head making Chris flinch and Sarah smile knowingly, the guy looks around, "Well what do ya know I'm okay, I'll take it." Says the old man excitedly handing Chris the money.

"Okay let me get you a bag." Says Chris turning around *Thud!* Chris turns back around and sees the man lying unconscious on the ground, "Damnit!" Shouts Chris making Sarah laugh.

 **Meanwhile.**

(Menthis is walking around the booths browsing when he thinks he sees Daedalus so he walks towards him.)

"Hey Dae!" Shouts Menthis waving.

Daedalus turns around and sees Menthis, "Oh god it's him." He says to himself and begins walking away slightly faster than normal.

Menthis begins to run and catches up with him, "Hey man didn't you hear me I said hello?" He asks with a smile.

"I'm partially deaf…" Responds Dae still walking fast.

"Why are we walking so fast?" Ask's Menthis still not taking the hint.

"...I have to use the bathroom." Responds Dae pausing before to think of an excuse.

"Know what I have to go as well, I'll come with." Says Menthis.

"Shit…." Sighs Dae.

"Yep, let's hurry." Responds Menthis still following Daedalus to the bathrooms.

 **Meanwhile Chris has been desperately to sell stuff but Sarah keeps sabotaging him.**

"Look I'm getting really sick of you messing with me and my customers!" Exclaims Chris angrily.

"Excuse me sir." Says a frail voice behind Chris.

"Chris turns around and shouts, "Not Now!" And turns back around and then stops realizing that was a customer and facepalms himself saying, "Jesus Christ…."

"Someone call me?" Asks Jesus Christ walking up.

"NO!" Shouts Chris in an angry response at Jesus.

"Okay." Shrugs Jesus walking off.

"Wait don't you want to buy something?!" Shouts Chris realizing Jesus could've bought something.

"Not from people who yell at me!" Shouts Jesus in response.

"Fuuuuuck!" Screams Chris into his hands behind the counter.

 **Meanwhile Menthis is standing outside the porta potty with Daedalus inside.**

(Knock, Knock, Knock.)

"You didn't fall in did you?" Laughs Menthis going to knock again.

 ***Wham!***

(The door opens hitting Menthis knocking him to the ground.)

Daedalus sighs and extends his hand to Menthis helping him up, "You okay bud?" He asks with a smile.

"Yeah...I think so." Menthis says brushing himself off.

"You know what...let's go get some food my treat." Says Daedalus scratching his head and him and Menthis walk towards the food stands.

 **Back with Chris and Sarah.**

"So Chris, It's nearly five P.M. you concede?" Asks Sarah with confidence.

"Yes…" Says Chris with a sad pause packing his booth up gathering his money he hands it to Sarah, "Here...I just wish I would've won it's not even about the money, maybe that good word would've helped."

Taking the money Sarah sees how sad Chris is, remembering her situation with Eddie she says, "I'll do it."

"Do what?" Asks Chris turning back around.

"I'll...put in a good word…" Says Sarah not looking him in the eyes.

"What?! Thank you Sarah I don't know what to say." Says Chris happily.

"It's whatever now go before I change my mind." Replies Sarah.

After watching Chris finish packing and walking off she starts packing up and Menthis walks up.

"Excuse me." He says.

"If you're looking for Chris he already left." Replies Sarah.

"Oh you must have me mistaken for someone else, do you mind if I talk with you about something?" Says the man who looks like Menthis with a smile.


	6. Average Hustle Unaverage Hobby

**Average Chris Ch6. Average Hustle Unaverage Hobby**

It shows Rallo at Stuckeys on ladies night sitting at the bar on a Tuesday.

"It's not weird that I'm here on ladies night..." Rallo says taking a swig of his drink, "It just means more ladies for me and more gay guys for them...I hope they're not angry gay (Sigh) that's the last thing I need mad at me."

Suddenly music comes on

Ooooo ooooo!

"What the hell?" Says Rallo to himself slightly recognizing the voice.

Am I wrong?

(Menthis walks out dressed in nothing but a fur coat and a thong singing.)

For thinking out the box from where I stay?

"Bahahaha!" Laughs Rallo pointing at Menthis.

Am I wrong?

(Menthis turns around and Chris walks out dressed as a cowboy.)

For saying that I choose another way?

"Fan-fan fantastic." Laughs Rallo wiping away a tear.

I ain't tryna do what everybody else doing.

(Suddenly Junior walks out in nothing but a leopard print g-string thong dancing.)

Just cause everybody doing what they all do.

Rallo starts gagging, "Ack this is too much." He says trying to cover his vision of Junior's twerking ass with his hands.

If one thing I know, I'll fall, but I'll grow.

(All the women go crazy for Junior.)

I'm walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home.

"I gotta get the fuck outta here!" Says Rallo getting up and walking towards the door but Menthis spots him.

So am I wrong?

(The spotlight hits Rallo.)

For uh... thinking that we could be something for real? (Sings Rallo nervously.)

Now am I wrong?

(Sings Menthis smiling.)

For trying to reach the things that I can't see?

(Menthis grabs Rallo's hand after he was lead to the stage.)

(Everyone begins singing and dancing, Menthis and Rallo lead with Chris and Junior backup chorus.)

But that's just how I feel. (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh!)

That's just how I feel! (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh!)

That's just how I feel!

Trying to reach the things that I can't see! (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh!)

(They all strike a pose then walk back stage.)

"That was amazing!" Exclaims Rallo with excitement.

"Glad you liked it." Says Menthis with a smile.

"Not you guys dummy, look at all this money." Says Rallo throwing crumpled singles in the air happily.

"Is this the sad rock bottom you told me about with him?" Menthis asks Junior.

"Kinda." Shrugs Junior.

"Screw you guys this is the easiest money I've ever made." Says Rallo picking up the money.

"Are you sure?" Asks Menthis with a smirk.

"Ignoring that comment, so why are you guys here at Stuckeys on ladies night?" Asks Rallo curiously.

"Why are you?" Asks Junior.

"I asked first." Replies Rallo seriously.

"Well if you must know on Tuesdays we try different activities." Says Chris getting changed.

"And you chose to be strippers?" Replies Rallo with a slight laugh.

"(Sigh) it wasn't my idea it was song whore over there's turn to pick the activity." Responds Chris pointing at Menthis.

"Hmm so do they do this every night?" Asks Rallo thinking to himself.

"Why?" Asks Chris looking back at Rallo.

"Well obviously he wants to spend his nights stripping for strangers and keeping singles in his underwear." Replies Menthis rolling his eyes sarcastically.

"Fuck you guys this is a great idea." Replies Rallo then walking off in agitation.

"There's rock bottom." Junior pipes in.

(A few days later.)

(It shows Menthis and Chris playing monopoly in the kitchen when there's a knock on the apartment door.)

(Knock, knock, knock.)

"Come in." Responds Chris looking at the door.

(The door swings open and Rallo walks in.)

"Sup chumps." Says Rallo walking in with a grin.

"What do you want?" Asks an unamused Menthis.

"Boom, boom haha!" Says Rallo throwing wadded up singles on the table happily.

"Where the hell did you get that kind of money?" Asks Menthis curiously with one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah?" Chimes in Chris.

"Stripping!" Says Rallo enthusiastically.

"And you just chose to throw a bunch of dirty dollars on our table?" Asks Menthis slightly annoyed by the interruption.

"Yeah, sorry about that; yo Men I got you a gift catch it's from a patron tonight." Says Rallo tossing a dirty thong to Menthis.

"Uh thanks?" Says Menthis catching it in confusion.

"It's from a guy." Says Rallo with a chuckle.

"Gross I'm going to go disinfect my hands." Says Menthis dropping the thong in disgust and walking to the bathroom.

"This is the greatest gig I've ever had. Says Rallo with enthusiasm.

"Uh congratulations but don't you think you're overdoing it?" Asks Chris.

"What no way." Responds Rallo in his defense.

"Well we only did it on Tuesday and you keep going back maybe you have a problem like Menthis did with online shopping.

 **Flashback.**

Chris walks in on Menthis on his laptop buying stuff "Oh hell no! I said no more buying crap online what did you get this time?!

"Don't worry, it's just the Breaking Bad playset nothing bad is going to happen." Replies Menthis

(Later it shows Menthis and Chris walking away from a burning RV in the desert.)

"Just know mistakes were made." Says Menthis to Chris and walking off in a huff.

 **Flashback Ends.**

"It's gonna be fine, I can stop anytime." Replies Rallo shrugging off Chris's concern and turning around and begins to walk towards the door.

"That's what every addict says!" Shouts Chris too Rallo as he leaves.

"Whatever!" Shouts Rallo back as he leaves the apartment.

"Did he leave?" Menthis asks walking back into the room.

"Yep." Says Chris turning back around to look at Menthis.

"Oh no, Rallo's dirty money messed up our game guess we're gonna have to start over." Says Menthis with a slightly sarcastic tone.

"Don't try pulling that crap with me, you're just upset you were losing now sit your ass down and let's finish this I have to work in the morning." Replies Chris beginning to get annoyed.

"Ugh fine." Sighs Menthis sitting back down.

(A few weeks later.)

(Rallo and the other strippers are preparing for that night's show.)

"I'm so psyched this job is great!" Exclaims Rallo getting ready in excitement.

"You say that now, but tonight Edna comes in." Says a familiar blonde haired man putting on his outfit.

"Wait who's Edna, also aren't you that Terry Bates guy from the Langley Falls channel 3 news? Asks Rallo curiously.

"I don't like talking about my past also you'll find out soon enough." Says Terry finishing his makeup and turning his head to look at Rallo.

"Okay then…" Replies Rallo.

(Later out on stage.)

(Everyone is doing their dances and an elderly woman comes into Stuckeys and sees Rallo.)

"I'd like a dance from you young man." Says the Elderly Woman walking up to Rallo.

"Uhhh I'm good." Says Rallo trying to walk away but bumps into the manager of Stuckeys.

"Where do you think you're going?" Asks the Manager sternly.

"Away from this old bat who wants me to grind on her." Responds Rallo.

"That old bat just happens to be Mrs Edna one of Stuckey's finest customers." Says the Manager looking at Rallo angrily.

"Oh boy…" Says Rallo with a nervous gulp.

"Now you're going to do that dance she paid for." Says the Manager leading him towards Edna.

"Come on chocolate man, let's get this dance going let's see you shake that ass and make it gnasty." Says Mrs Edna slapping Rallo's butt.

"Know what no this is where I draw the line I quit." Declares Rallo angrily pulling himself away from her.

"Fine get out." Says the Manager snapping his fingers and the bouncer grabs Rallo dragging him towards the back door and throwing him out into the alley.

"Well fuck you guys too!" Shouts Rallo angrily brushing himself off, "Well there goes one of the greatest gigs I ever had." Says Rallo with sigh and walking off in nothing but a thong and shame.


	7. Average Joe Unaverage Kevin Story

**Average Chris Ch.7 Average Joe Unaverage Kevin Story.**

(The camera pans through the clouds revealing Kevin Swanson's house.)

(Music begins to play.)

Hail (hail) (Says Kevin and The Neighbor to each other passing by waving.)

What's the matter with your head, yeah?

Hail (hail) (Says Kevin and The Neighbor waving back at each other as they walk inside.)

What's the matter with your mind?

And your sign an-a, oh-oh-oh?

Hail (hail) (Says Kevin and his Neighbor on Christmas when he gives Kevin a gift with a wink.)

Nothin' the matter with your head?

Baby, find it, come on and find it?

Haaaill!

(Asks The Neighbor singing.)

(Kevin awkwardly backs away.)

With it, baby.

'Cause you're fine.

And you're mine, and you look so divine.

(Sings The Neighbor watching Kevin licking his lips.)

(Opening the gift a box full of The Neighbor in different poses wearing a negligee fall out stunning Kevin.)

Come and get your love!

Come and get your love!

(Kevin turns around seeing The Neighbor peering over the fence winking and nodding at him.)

Come and get your love!

(Kevin slowly shuts the door.)

Come and get your love!

(Later Kevin walks in presses play on his answering machine and hears Joe.)

"Hey Kevin it's your father, turns out your mother and I won't be coming to Christmas dinner after all your sister Susie surprised us with two cruise tickets!" He says enthusiastically before Kevin shuts the machine off with a sigh sitting down at the table, "Well I guess there comes a point in every adult male's life where he has to decide between stopping the man who clearly has an unhealthy obsession with me. Kevin says looking through his curtain at his neighbor dancing with a cardboard cutout of him on his porch, "Or confronting my father on how I feel."

(10 minutes later.)

"I think we all knew what needed to be done." Says Kevin watching his neighbor get arrested through his window.

"You can't prove it was me sneaking into his bedroom window at night and cutting off parts of the back of his hair!" Shouts The Neighbor struggling with the officers arresting him.

"Wait that crazy fucker did what!?" Kevin shouts feeling bald patches on the back of his head, "Now what was that other thing bothering me?" He says to himself.

(Suddenly his answering machine goes off and it's his dad again.)

"Yeah so Kevin turns out Susie surprised us with a vacation in Rome so we'll probably be taking a rain check on your birthday." Says Joe but forgetting to hang up.

"Who was that?" Asks Bonnie in the background.

"No one, let's do this!" Shouts Joe enthusiastically and the message dials out.

"Right….." Sighs Kevin turning off his lights and going to bed.

(The next morning.)

(Kevin comes over to Chris and Menthis's apartment and presses the buzzer repeatedly.)

"6AM who the hell is it?" Menthis asks tiredly over the intercom.

"It's Kevin let me in." Replies Kevin shivering.

"I'll rephrase, 6AM why?" Asks Menthis.

"I still have that warrant." Replies Kevin pushing the buzzer.

"Come in." Replies Menthis quickly unlocking the door.

"Jesus Christ is Menthis starting fires in the park again? Asks Chris looking up from the paper seeing Kevin walking in.

"Not as far as I know." Replies Kevin.

Menthis walks towards the window looks at someone shakes his head no and mouths, "Not today man."

"Come on bro what the hell?" Mouths the Man in response looking at Menthis.

"Sorry today's just a bad day." Mouths Menthis in reply.

"I just find it funny everyday seems to be a bad day with you." Mouths the Man.

"Are we really doing this right now Andrew?" Mouths Menthis in reply looking at him seriously.

"Yes, right now! It's just that I feel like I'm the only one committed to starting park fires now...our nights used to be so lit." Mouths Andrew.

"God they were, know what let's go for next Tuesday." Mouths Menthis.

"Tuesday's not good for me, my kid has karate lessons." Mouths Andrew.

"Alex?" Mouths Menthis asking.

"Yep Alex…" Mouths Andrew slowly shaking his head.

(Menthis slowly nods his head in agreement.)

"Will Friday work?" Mouths Menthis asking.

"Sure after 6." Mouths Andrew in response.

"See you then." Mouths Menthis turning around and remembering he has plans turns back around to say something but the guys gone, "Shit…" Sighs Menthis out loud.

"You say something?" Asks Kevin turning around to him.

"No…" Grumbles Menthis going and sitting in front of the TV.

"So you want help earning your dad's respect?" Asks Chris.

"Yeah I wasn't really sure who else to turn to." Kevin says with a sigh.

"Guy's come check out this new weirdly progressive ad on smoking." Shouts Menthis on the couch.

 **"Cutaway."**

A man in a blue suit walks into a room and sits on the chair and begins to talk, "Hi I'm Todd Sutherland from Quahog Sutherland Tobacco Company, did you know that 1 in every 5 fathers in the inner city leave for a pack of cigarettes and just don't return?"

It shows the Man petting a dog in a breezy field he looks up and says, "That's why we at Sutherland Tobacco want to do our part by lowering the cost of tobacco by a whopping 4% that's right 4% sales tax not included just to bring those fathers home." Finishing with a smile now.

(The camera pans out showing Peter watching the ad in the convenience store.)

"Sir? Sir? You've been standing there just staring at cigarette prices and that ad for over 20 minutes you're freaking me out! Do you know where you are?" Asks the Pimple Faced Sales Clerk.

"I think I've always known where I was, it's probably time I picked up a Sutherland Tobacco Brand Full Flavor 100s and find my way home." Peter says to himself getting his cigarettes and walking to his car.

(Later the phone rings in Chris and Menthis's apartment Chris picks it up and it's Lois.)

"Chris, he's home." She says making Chris weep with joy.

 **End Cutaway.**

"So I'm going to meet you at the station there we'll discuss our next course of action." Explains Kevin.

"I don't trust police stations." Replies Menthis.

What do you mean? We installed that karaoke bar in your regular cell like you asked!" Asks Kevin shocked at Menthis's audacious response.

"Yeah it's just you guys never have that sparkling Fiji water I like." Replies Menthis scratching his head.

"I keep trying to tell you we can't Afford Fiji water." Says Kevin.

"I just feel since I'm a regular I deserve something more than just Aquafina." Whines Menthis.

"Sir this is jail, not the Marriott so good day to you." Says Kevin walking towards the door.

"But." Begins Menthis.

"I said good day sir!" Shouts Kevin interrupting him and walking out.

(Later at the police station.)

"So Chris remember that story my dad told about taking down the Grinch?" Asks Kevin.

"Yeah?" Replies Chris.

"I don't." Replies Menthis.

"Well I'm not telling it again, so just sit back, shut up, pretend you're canon and just listen." Replies Kevin looking at Menthis.

"Well fuck you too." Grumbles Menthis under his breath sitting back.

"What if I told you it wasn't completely untrue?" Asks Kevin.

"Wait what?" Asks Chris shocked.

"Yeah...it was my dad's greatest arrest but the shame he has over his worst he decided to use that part as a cover story." Says Kevin walking to the back of the room and taking a sheet off the white board.

Chris taps Menthis on the shoulder and says, "Men you seeing this?"

Menthis taps Chris back on his shoulder when he looks away and says, "So suddenly the non-canon guy's opinion matters?"

"Goddamnit…" Sighs Chris.

"See my dad might've stopped him but I've noticed something, someone's been hitting the same exact houses." Says Kevin rubbing his chin.

"We'll help you however we can." Replies Chris.

(About 2 weeks of research into the crimes.)

"God why can't we catch that guy?" Sighs Kevin in frustration.

"Hmmm?" Ponders Menthis looking at the white board.

"You have an idea?" Asks Chris.

"Oh...no I was just wondering if anyone else found it weird if you put a line through the pattern of the houses it spells; You killed my father Joe Swanson I will have my revenge! Signed Yung Grynch." Says Menthis to himself and Chris.

"What!?" Exclaims Chris in shock.

"Yeah we're either dealing with a mentally challenged person or his actual son." Replies Menthis turning to Chris.

"No I mean how long have you noticed this?" Asks Chris still shocked.

"For about 2 weeks why?" Ask's Menthis.

"And you said nothing!?" Shouts Chris now angry.

"I didn't want to seem retarded!" Menthis Shouts back.

"Oh dear god." Sighs Chris facepalming himself turning around he says, "Look Kevin I'm so sorry about my stupid friend."

"I can hear you know?" Say's Menthis from behind Chris.

Chris looks Menthis dead in the face and says, "I know."

"No need to worry I think I know where his next target is." Replies Kevin.

(Later Joe and Bonnie are just getting back home from their cruise.)

(Bonnie pushes Joe through the door when suddenly two men put sacks over their heads.)

(Kevin, Chris and, Menthis pull up to his parent's house.)

"Look the doors open." Points Chris.

(They all get out of the car and go into the dark house.)

"I think I hear something from in the living room." Whispers Kevin.

(All three of them crouch and head towards the living when the lights suddenly turn on.)

"Lookie what we have here." Says a man all covered in green hair wearing a Santa suit and flashing his yellow gold teeth grillz.

"Well I guess he's both." Says Menthis.

(Suddenly both Kevin and Chris take out their wallets and hands Menthis 20 dollars each.)

"The fuck was that? I'm here to avenge my daddy and y'all disrespecting me like that?! Says Yung Grynch beginning to get angry.

(Both Kevin and Chris take out their wallets and give Menthis another 20 dollars each.)

"Oh fuck this now it's time to cut your pretty face!" Says Yung Grynch running at Kevin.

"No one's cutting your pretty face today!" Shouts a voice.

"Suddenly Kevin's Neighbor comes crashing through the window and tackles Yung Grynch to the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Asks Kevin.

"Something told me you needed help." Replies The Neighbor.

"Thanks." Says Kevin untying his parents.

"So can we do it?" Asks The Neighbor.

"Ugh fine…" Grumbles Kevin.

Hail (hail)(Says The Neigbor dancing and Kevin unenthusiastically.)

What's the matter with you feel right?

Don't you feel right baby?

(Sings The Neighbor shaking his head back and forth.)

Hail, oh yeah!(Sings Chris and Menthis.)

Get it from the main vine, all right!

I said-a find it, find it!

Go on and love it if you like it, yeah!

(Sings The Neighbor.)

Hail (hail)(Sings The Neighbor and Menthis with Kevin just shaking his head.)

It's your business if you want some, take some.

(Sings Chris dancing.)

Get it together baby

(Sings everyone but Kevin watching his parents leave.)

(All three start dancing and singing.)

Come and get your love!

Come and get your love!

"You're friend's are weird..." Says Joe shaking his head.

Come and get your love!

"But...but.." Starts Kevin but Bonnie shuts the door.

Come and get Joe's love!

"Complete...bullshit..." Says Kevin crossing his arms looking thoroughly unamused.


	8. Unaverage Meg: An AC V-Day Special

**Unaverage Meg Ch:8 An Average Chris Valentine's Day Special.**

(It's a cold dark February night and Eddie Walker is driving to his night job, when he turns on the radio and begins singing along.)

Our love is like water.

(His phone begins to ring and he looks and sees it's Meg and he doesn't answer.)

Pinned down and abused.

For being strange.

(It shows Eddie getting dressed into his drag costume.)

Our love is no other.

Than me alone.

For me all day.

(He's putting on the last of his makeup when his phone goes off and it's Meg again and he denies the call.)

Our love is like water.

Pinned down and abused.

(He walks out onto the stage and begins singing along again.)

All over you all over me.

The sun, the fields, the sky.

(He begins hyping up the crowd clapping his hands singing sill.)

I've often tried to hold the sea.

The sun, the fields, the tide.

(While singing it shows Meg walking into the club then into the stage area spotting Eddie.)

Pay me now lay me down.

(Meg begins towards the back rooms just as Eddie is finishing up.)

Oh yeah!

(Eddie walks into the back changing room and runs into Meg.)

"What the hell is going on!?" Demands a livid Meg.

"I'm working a job to support my family." Replies Eddie rolling his eyes as he's removing his eye liner.

"Oh no, no no this is not a job Eddie Walker this is a hobby so don't give me that crap." Replies Meg rubbing her forehead, "Look I've always supported this but this is as far as I can go anymore...what will the kids think? I think we need some time apart like the therapist said."

"But." Begins Eddie but Meg cuts him off.

"No buts, I've already packed up your things you'll be staying with my brother Chris and his weird friend Menthis."

(Later Eddie is pulling into one of the parking spaces at the apartment complex gets out and walks up and presses the buzzer number for Chris and Menthis's apartment.)

"Wow sucks to be you right?" Says Menthis's voice through the speaker when suddenly you hear someone push him away.

"Ignore him, come in." Says Chris pressing the button to open the gate.

(Later as Eddie is walking in.)

"I hope him being here won't be an extended stay." Remarks Menthis walking off.

"I'm sure it won't." Replies Eddie scratching the back of his head after he sets his stuff down.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, I know my sister." Replies Chris grabbing Eddie's bags to go put them away and walks away saying "The couch pulls out if you touch my goplay yogurt you die g'night."

(Eddie pulls out an old crusty pullout couch that looks as if it's not been cleaned in ages and music begins to play.)

I, was the knight in shining armor in your movie.

(It show's Eddie putting his family portrait on the already cluttered nightstand.)

Would put your lips on mine and love the aftertaste.

(He kisses the portrait and goes to bed.)

Now I'm a ghost, I call your name, you look right through me.

(It show's he's tried calling Meg multiple times but she won't answer.)

You're the reason I'm alone and masturbate.

(It show's Eddie finishing jerking off and when he gets up he looks to his left and sees a scarred Chris in the bathtub; Chris screams at Eddie pointing to the door making Eddie runs with his pants around his ankles falling in the doorway.)

I, I've been trying to fix my pride.

But that shit's broken, that shit's broken.

(It show's Eddie trying to go into Meg and his house but his key won't work because she changed the locks.

Lie (lie, lie), lie, l-lie, I try to hide.

But now you know it.

(His daughter Molly looks out the window and waves at him his eldest daughter Patty walks behind her shakes her head and just flicks the curtain closed.)

That I'm at an all time.

Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.

Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.

(It show's Eddie driving home then crying in the apartment complex parking lot.)

*Tap,tap,tap.*

(Eddie looks up and sees a homeless man.)

"Clean your windows for a dollar." Says the homeless man pressing his face against the window.

"Know what after all I've been through I'd like that." Says Eddie handing him a dollar out the window and the man takes a old dirty newspaper spits in it then begins wiping the window with it, "And you only have newspaper fan-fucking-tastic." Eddie sighs.

 **Few days later on the day before Valentine's day.**

(Eddie has been sulking in bed half naked covered in sadness and cheeto dust.)

"Come on Eddie we're going to Stucky's get dressed." Says Chris walking out of the bedroom putting on his coat.

"So what's Stucky's?" Asks Eddie getting in the backseat.

"Oh great place, fantastic food drinks the works." Says Chris

"Don't forget Karaoke!" Exclaims Menthis excitedly.

(Later as they pull into the bar's parking lot.)

"You guys go in I've got something important to do." Says Chris trying to wink at Menthis discreetly.

"Something wrong with your eye?" Menthis asks looking at Chris obliviously.

"Really?" Replies Chris rolling his eyes.

"Ooooh." Says Menthis realizing what Chris meant.

"Yep, you good champ?" Replies Chris.

"Mhmm." Says Menthis walking with Eddie into Stucky's, "Put these on while I go sign us up for Karaoke." He says handing Eddie a bag.

*Eddie looks in the bag seeing a different version of his crossdressing outfit that looks like Roxette.*

(Later after Eddie changes and is walking out of the bathroom Menthis comes up and drags him on stage looking like he's Roxette.)

(Music begins playing catching Eddie off guard he begins to sing along.)

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.

I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.

(Suddenly Chris has Meg walking in blindfolded.)

You've built a love but that love falls apart.

Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

"Why do I need a blindfold? Is that Eddie singing?" She asks getting annoyed.

Listen to your heart.

When he's calling for you.

(Meg takes off her blindfold and just listens to Eddie sing.)

Listen to your heart

There's nothing else you can do.

(A tear begins to fall from her eye.)

I don't know where you're going.

And I don't know why.

(Eddie looks directly at Meg.)

But listen to your heart.

Before you tell him goodbye.

"He loves you Meg go to him." Says Chris nudging Meg towards the stage.

(Eddie pulls Meg onto the stage when she walks up and hugs her.)

"You did good Chris." Says Menthis walking towards him smiling.

"I know buddy, I know." Replies Chris watching Meg and Eddie hug then share a kiss then he begins smiling also.

 **End of Season 1.**


	9. Unaverage Departure from a Average Life1

**Unaverage Meg and Eddie: Average Chris Edition Ch9: Unaverage Departure from a Average Life Part 1.**

(The camera pans through clouds and you see a house and a piano begins to play and familiar voice begins to sing.)

I walked across an empty land.

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.

(The camera goes toward the house and the window opens.)

I felt the earth beneath my feet.

Sat by the river and it made me complete.

(It's revealed it's Meg who is singing along while listening to a radio while cleaning.)

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

(She picks up a family portrait and begins smiling.)

I'm getting tired and I need someone to rely on.

(She looks at a photo of just her and Eddie and a tear falls from her eye.)

I came across a fallen tree.

(She hugs the portrait and closes her eyes.)

I felt the branches of it looking at me.

(The scene changes to a memory of her and Eddie walking through the park.)

Is this the place we used to love?

(Meg looks up and smiles at Eddie.)

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

(Meg opens her eyes tears now streaming down her face.)

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

(She looks at the photos again then wipes them off and puts them back on the shelf.)

And if you have a minute, why don't we go.

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

(She stands there drying her tears.)

This could be the end of everything.

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know.

(Meg hears Eddie and the kids get back and goes to greet them.)

(Instead she sees a balding man wearing a uniform and he's outside the door smiling.)

"Hello?" Asks Meg curiously through the door screen.

"Excuse me ma'am I'm here to talk about the upcoming election and was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?" Asks the Man.

"Uh sorry I'm a little busy at the moment." Meg lies.

"Well that's too bad we really could count on your vote, as I always say every voice makes a difference." Says the man handing her his business card and walking towards a black car and the window rolls down and he leans in talking.

(As Meg goes to close the door she thinks she sees a glimpse of Menthis as the window rolls down, but before she can be sure the guy leans his head in.)

 **Meanwhile.**

(Eddie has picked up Menthis while Chris is at work and taken him with him to pick up the kids.)

(Eddie turns up the car radio when a song comes on and himself and Menthis begin singing along.)

Oh, oh, oh.

(Menthis closes his eyes and plays air guitar with Eddie just singing.)

You run, run, runaway.

It's your heart that you betray.

(Menthis opens eyes and sings this part while Eddie pretends he's playing drums on the steering wheel.)

Feeding on your hungry eyes.

I bet you're not so civilized.

Well, isn't love primitive?

A wild gift that you wanna give.

(Both Menthis and Eddie both sing along again.)

Break out of captivity.

(They look at each other singing.)

And follow me, stereo jungle child.

Love is the kill, your heart's still wild.

(They both begin head banging.

Shootin' at the walls of heartache!

Bang, bang!

(They both make finger gun gestures.)

I am the warrior!

Well, I am the warrior!

And heart to heart you'll win!

If you survive!

"Dad!" Shouts a voice.

The warrior!

"Dad!" Shouts the voice again.

The warrior!

"Oh sorry." Says Eddie seeing a red faced Patty.

"What's wrong girly your face looks like a cherry tomato?" Asks Menthis with a slight chuckle.

"Hmph I don't want to talk about it…Can we just go?" Says Patty still red faced getting into the car.

"Are you still being bullied by that Keli girl?" Asks Eddie.

(Patty just looks away saying nothing.)

"I got this." Menthis rolls the top part of the car and stands up, "Hey Keli!" He shouts and a blonde haired girl looks back.

"Yeah?" Asks the girl.

"Are you Keli?" Menthis asks.

"Yeah, what of it?" Asks the girl looking at Menthis.

"Don't be a bitch to Patty!" Menthis shouts at her and the girl's eyes go wide and she storms off.

"Oh my God." Says Patty sliding back in the seat embarrassed her face even redder than before.

"I think I made my point." Says Menthis sitting back down.

(They drive off to pick up Molly then head home.)

(As they pull into the driveway Meg comes to greet them.)

"It's great to see you guys." Meg says then sees Menthis, "What are you doing here?"

"I lost my house key this morning and Chris said 4 lost keys is enough if I lock myself out again I'm outside all day." Menthis replies with a sigh.

"Odd question were you here earlier?" Asks Meg.

"No why?" Replies Menthis curiously.

"Because I thought I saw you earlier driving around the neighborhood." Replies Meg.

A look of horror comes to Menthis's face, "I...I have to go." He says and takes off running towards town.

"That was weird I wonder what happened, oh well." Says Meg and walks inside.


	10. Unaverage Departure from a Average Life2

**Unaverage Meg and Eddie: Average Chris Edition Ch10: Unaverage departure from a Average Life Part 2.**

(The scene opens with the inside of an apartment with pictures all over the walls.)

(As the camera begins to get closer you start to see the pictures are of Eddie Walker and an unfamiliar female's voice begins singing.)

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.

(The camera turns toward an unfamiliar woman with disheveled auburn colored hair wearing a red dress.)

Do you feel my heart beating?

(She presses her hand to her chest then touches the photo of Eddie on the wall.)

Do you understand?

(She looks towards another portrait and walks towards it.)

Do you feel the same?

(It's a picture of Eddie and Meg but Meg's head is cut out and has the woman's taped on instead.)

Am I only dreaming?

(She picks it up and looks at it.)

Is this burning an eternal flame?

(She sets it back down and walks towards another wall.)

I believe it's meant to be, darling.

I watch you when you are sleeping.

(She picks up another photo of what looks to be a picture of Eddie sleeping.)

You belong with me.

(She gently runs her hand over the photo.)

Do you feel the same?

(She sets it back down.)

Am I only dreaming?

Or is this burning an eternal flame?!

(She closes her eyes and finishes the verse when a voice interrupts her.)

"We found them." Says the voice which is revealed to be the old man who talked to Meg earlier that afternoon.

(The woman's eyes open and she smiles wickedly.)

 **Meanwhile.**

(Menthis is banging on the apartment door.)

"Let me in! Let me in Chris!" Shouts Menthis banging on the door rapidly with his eyes closed.

Chris opens the door and Menthis accidentally punches him in the throat, "Ack!" He cries eyes watering he falls to the ground clutching his throat.

Menthis opens his eyes seeing Chris on the ground and says, "What are you doing on the ground?"

(Chris just looks up at him glaring.)

"This is bad, this is bad, this is really really bad." Says Menthis walking in pacing back and forth when he enters the kitchen.

"What's bad? Be specific!" Shouts Chris finally getting up shutting the door.

"He found me..." Says Menthis terror showing in his voice.

"Who?...No you don't mean?" Asks Chris and Menthis just nods his head in agreement.

 **Meanwhile.**

(The woman is still talking to the man.)

"He will be quite pleased with this information and as promised." Says the Man writing down an address on a piece of paper and handing it to the woman which she stuffs in her bra.

"I bet he will." Says the Woman with a smile walking him out the apartment.

"Don't have too much fun." Says the man with a wink before he leaves.

"Oh I will." Says the woman with a laugh shutting the door and walking up the stairs.

 **Later.**

(Menthis is sitting on the roof staring at a picture of what appears to be his brother he then sets it down and begins playing his guitar and starts singing.)

Such a lonely day.

(The scene flashes back to what appears to be him and his brother fighting.)

And it's mine.

(His brother shouts something and pushes him towards the door.)

The most loneliest day of my life!

(His brother opens the door pushing him out.)

Such a lonely day.

(Menthis gets up brushing himself off.)

Should be banned.

(He looks up wiping the tears out of his eyes.)

It's a day that I can't stand.

(He begins to walk towards the bus stop.)

The most loneliest day of my life.

(The scene then flashes back to Menthis looking up at the sky singing.)

The most loneliest day of my life!

(The scene then changes back to the woman from earlier staring at a locket she begins to sing.)

Such a lonely day.

(It flashes back to her walking in the park.)

Shouldn't exist.

(She's excitedly walking holding a locket.)

It's a day that I'll never miss.

(She looks up seeing the person she began smiling but suddenly she stops.)

Such a lonely day.

(It shows the scene from earlier of Meg and Eddie at the park.)

And it's mine.

(Heartbroken the woman turns around and leaves holding the locket.)

The most loneliest day of my life!

(The scene goes back to the woman still singing as she goes and gets into her car.)

And if you go, I wanna go with you.

(It shows her singing the first part then flashes to Menthis singing the second.)

And if you die, I wanna die with you.

(It flashes from Menthis singing to the first part then to the woman singing the second.)

Take your hand and walk away!

(They both finish singing together and She backs her car out and drives off and Menthis gets up and walks towards the stairs.)

"You okay man?" Asks Chris seeing Menthis walk in.

"As I'll ever be." Sighs Menthis flopping down on the couch in front of the TV and turns it on.

 **Meanwhile the woman is driving to the address the man wrote down.**

(It's dinner time and Eddie and his family is eating when there's a knock at the door.)

"I'll get it." Says Eddie getting up to answer the door when he opens it and it's the woman.

"Edward." She says with a slight smile.

"Lana..." Says Eddie in shock at seeing her.

"I think we need to talk." Says Lana.

 **Meanwhile it shows the old man and another man who looks like Menthis listening to the conversation through the microphone chip put in the card given to Meg she set on the counter.**

"Everything is going according to plan Mathias what shall we do next?" Asks the Old Man.

"Nothing for you at least." Says Mathias snapping his fingers.

"What?" Says the Old Man shocked.

"Unfortunately we'll be terminating you and our contract with you, no hard feelings old boy just easier to cover our tracks that way." Says Mathias looking at him coldly and a big man steps out of the shadows grabs the Old Man dragging him into the back room and you hear a gunshot, "I'm coming for you next Menthis better watch your back little brother." Says Mathias laughing evil flowing through his laughter.


End file.
